Marriage is one of life’s biggest milestones, and while love is the foundation, there’s so much more that goes into building a successful and happy relationship. From communication struggles to financial planning, many couples face unexpected challenges along the way. So before you say, “I do,” it’s worth learning from those who’ve been there. What’s the best advice for newly engaged couples or those about to get married?
Ever caught yourself wondering if the aisle you’re about to walk down is actually a tightrope stretched over the Grand Canyon of commitment? Trust me, I’ve watched more couples take that leap than a skydiving instructor on a holiday weekend, and I’ve noticed some patterns worth sharing.
Marriage—that beautiful, terrifying, exhilarating institution that approximately 64% of people enter thinking they’ve got it all figured out. (Spoiler alert: exactly 0% actually do.) [adjusts imaginary tie with knowing smirk]
“Marriage isn’t about finding someone you can live with—it’s about finding someone you can’t imagine living without, then learning how to live with them anyway.”
Let me drop some real-world wisdom on what makes marriages actually work:
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Communication: The Ultimate Marriage Superpower
Learn to fight fair before you need to. Most folks think communication is about sweet nothings and morning texts, but the real MVP skill is knowing how to disagree without declaring emotional warfare. Practice having uncomfortable conversations before resentment turns your love nest into a passive-aggressive battlefield. [leans in like I’m sharing state secrets]
In ten years of marriage, you’ll care way less about who was right in argument #347 and way more about how you made each other feel during it.
Financial Transparency: All Cards on the Table
Studies show that couples who combine financial philosophies before combining bedrooms are 87% less likely to contemplate temporary spousal disappearance. Okay, I made that stat up—but not the truth behind it!
Talk about money. All of it. The savings, the debt, the weird spending habits, and the financial goals. My buddy Jake thought his fiancée’s shopping habit was cute until her “small” credit card debt turned out to have more digits than their phone number.
“Your marriage vows should include ‘for richer, for poorer’—but you should definitely know which one you’re starting with.”
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Maintain Your Identity
The strangest paradox of marriage? The more you maintain your separate identities, the stronger your union becomes. Marriage isn’t about two halves making a whole—it’s about two wholes making something greater. [gestures expansively while nodding sagely]
Keep your hobbies. Maintain your friendships. Have experiences apart so you actually have something interesting to talk about together.
Choose Growth Over Being Right
Here’s a controversial take that might ruffle some feathers: The “never go to bed angry” advice is overrated garbage. Sometimes you need sleep to realize you’re being an irrational mess over something trivial. The better advice? Never stop choosing growth over being right.
In every disagreement, ask yourself: “Do I want to win this argument, or do I want a healthy marriage?” Because rarely can you have both simultaneously. [drops wisdom bomb with raised eyebrow]
The Maintenance Plan
I’m dead serious though—marriages need maintenance like classic cars. The ones that last aren’t the ones without problems; they’re the ones where both people show up with toolboxes ready to fix stuff before the engine falls out.
Schedule regular check-ins. Have a monthly “state of our union” conversation where you can safely discuss what’s working and what needs attention. These conversations are like changing your relationship’s oil—unsexy but absolutely crucial.
“The quality of your marriage isn’t determined by how you celebrate the good days but by how you show up on the bad ones.”
Final Thoughts
Marriage isn’t the finish line—it’s the starting gun. The wedding lasts a day, but the marriage is a daily choice to love someone even when they leave their socks on the floor for the thousandth time or snore like a chainsaw orchestra. [smiles knowingly while shaking head]
What’s your relationship non-negotiable that keeps your partnership thriving? Drop it below—I’m genuinely curious what wisdom you’ve picked up along the way!
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Homework assignment: This week, ask your partner this question: “What can I do to make you feel more loved in a way that actually resonates with you?” Then actually do it, without commentary, suggestions for improvement, or expecting immediate reciprocation. Their reaction might surprise you.
Imagine you’re five years into marriage and the butterflies have flown south for the season. What’s your move to reconnect? I’ll bet the collective wisdom here could save more marriages than couples therapy!
Until next time, keep loving deliberately and laughing abundantly – The Sage of Streetwise Wisdom!
Disclaimer: You are NOT legally required to agree with this post. You are, however, highly encouraged to grab a snack, relax, and enjoy the ride. Hate-reading is allowed, but no eye-rolling injuries are covered under this disclaimer.